Apple - Charli xcx

Oh, of course Charli XCX is definitely just recycling that ultra-sophisticated, high-brow techno pop from the early 2000s—you know, the era of iconic lyrical masterpieces like "My Humps" and "Blue (Da Ba Dee)." She's just sitting in her neon-lit studio, sipping Surge, thinking, "What the world really needs right now is the spiritual successor to Eiffel 65 but with more eyeliner and existential dread."

Because when Charli painstakingly curates glitchy hyperpop layers, collaborates with bleeding-edge producers, and redefines digital pop for a new generation… that’s clearly just a carbon copy of that time Cascada told us every time we touched, we got this feeling. Groundbreaking stuff.

And don’t even get me started on her wild originality—like using autotune and synthesizers. No one's ever done that before. I mean, Britney Spears? Never heard of her. Daft Punk? Total unknowns.

Charli’s entire aesthetic? Just a Hotmail-era fever dream with a Y2K choker slapped on it. Her fans don’t appreciate nuance and innovation, they just miss Motorola ringtones and LimeWire viruses.

So yeah—if you think Charli XCX is just rehashing bad techno pop from the early 2000s, congratulations on having the musical analysis depth of a dial-up modem.