Shower - Becky G

Becky G: "Shower"
★☆☆☆☆
By Someone Who’s Been Held Hostage in a Sephora for 36 Hours

There are songs that change lives. There are songs that move culture. And then there is “Shower” by Becky G—a song that boldly asks, what if brushing your teeth could be a personality?

Let’s be clear: “Shower” isn’t so much a pop song as it is a bubblegum-scented middle school diary entry set to a ringtone. Released in 2014, a simpler time when Vine was still a thing and eyebrows were still recovering from the trauma of the 2000s, “Shower” attempts to convince us that love is best expressed through aggressive hygiene metaphors. “You light me up inside like the Fourth of July,” Becky coos, presumably while standing in a CVS aisle surrounded by travel-sized shampoos.

The production is so sanitized it makes a hospital operating room look like a dive bar. The ukulele-plucked beat is pure algorithmic optimism, as if Spotify’s “Teens Who Just Discovered Love” playlist came to life and immediately asked to speak to the manager. And yet, buried beneath the artificial citrus zest and Instagram-filtered romance, is a strangely catchy hook that lodges in your brain like glitter in a carpet.

Lyrically, “Shower” is a rollercoaster of unrelenting innocence. Becky G doesn’t want to party. She doesn’t want to rebel. She wants to sing in the shower. That’s it. That’s the climax. It’s like listening to a musical episode of The Disney Channel Presents: Human Emotions 101.

To her credit, Becky G delivers the vocals with all the conviction of someone holding a bottle of Herbal Essences and performing to an imaginary arena crowd of loofahs. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe “Shower” isn’t for us critics, sitting in our vintage Joy Division shirts sipping cold brew brewed with our own self-loathing. Maybe it’s for the 13-year-olds who genuinely believe their crush will text back because the universe “totally just gave them a sign.”

Still, “Shower” is the audio equivalent of a cupcake with a face on it—cloying, confusingly marketable, and somehow sold in 37 countries.

Best listened to: while painting your nails with glitter polish and pretending your hairbrush is a Grammy.
Sounds like: a Target commercial trying to sell you “feelings.”
Final thought: Becky G has range. Unfortunately, this one’s set to “bubble bath.”